On Being Painted “Crazy”

The more life experience I gather — studying, talking with people, reading, travelling, widening my view and learning to look at things from different angles — the higher my inner worth, my wholeness, my confidence in how I think and act (not a blind confidence).

And right alongside that, I grow less and less tolerant of deliberate attempts to devalue me and knock me off course. Less tolerant, too, of lies, cover-ups, of letting things slide, of rudeness, ignorance, negligence, of the many ways people pass off wishful thinking as fact or try to drag you into the swamp. Naturally, this only applies to people I actually deal with.

As a result, my decisions are becoming not just bolder and less conventional, but at times harder. The circle of those who like them shrinks accordingly — and that’s fine. I can look for a balance of interests, but I’m under no obligation to please everyone.

What truly surprises me, though, is something else: the clearer the situation, the less often my opponents respond on the merits, and the more often they go after the image instead. Instead of arguments — “he’s just lost his mind,” “he’s not normal,” “he needs help.” Not facts against facts, but a slide into personal attacks, an attempt to make you out to be a fool or a madman.

This is gaslighting, classic — calling white black so insistently that we start to doubt our own reality. The goal isn’t to convince but to knock the ground out from under us, to provoke a flash of anger or irritation so that our emotion becomes the “proof” of their rightness. And so to wipe out all the experience, context and chain of thought that brought us to our decision.

I used to take the bait: I’d get indignant, argue, prove my point. Then I understood — that was exactly what they were after. The best answer is calm firmness and moving on.

Here’s a short protocol that helps:
— name the move: “That’s a personal attack — let’s get back to the facts”;
— restore the frame: “Which specific criteria or grounds are you actually disputing?”;
— hold the pause; don’t play on someone else’s emotional field;
— put agreements in writing;
— surround yourself with people of responsibility, not drama;
— cut out of your life those who manipulate systematically. “No” is an answer too.

If you recognize yourself in that moment when people try to paint you as unhinged precisely when you’re at the peak of your clarity and focus — know this: you’re fine. Don’t let anyone strip you of your right to your own decisions, values and goals.

Here’s to clear minds, calm strength, firm boundaries, and a course that no manipulation or labeling can knock off! 😎