On Choices You Can't Win

Most of what we’re taught about making decisions — at school, at home, in books, in training rooms — comes down to one thing: pick the best of the options on the table. Learn to compare, to analyze, to weigh the consequences, and then choose “correctly.”

But life doesn’t always play by those rules. At times we end up facing a choice where there’s no “bad” option — and no “right” one either. Every path could be the best, each in its own way. One is solid, another is inspiring. One is clear, another is alluring. They don’t overlap, they don’t add up into a single formula. And opting out isn’t possible: time, circumstances, or other people leave us no such luxury.

And here’s where it gets hard: it feels like, whatever we do, we lose. Whatever we decide, a sense of loss will go on living inside us. FOMO — that sly fear of the missed opportunity — will be sure to remind us of itself later. It starts to whisper: “But what if…?” — and drags us into another spiral of doubt, even when we’re already quite happy with what we chose.

What do we do about it? I honestly don’t know. Enjoy life. Get on with the work. Listen to intuition and try not to leave the mind too much time for empty turning-over.

Sometimes I look with a touch of envy at the people who, once they’ve made a decision, cut off the road to second-guessing entirely. That’s it. Decision made — which means it was the right one. Even when it’s objectively strange. These are the people who’ll tell you, eyes blazing, why buying a beat-up old Lada is wiser than picking up a new Mercedes: parts are everywhere, servicing costs pennies, repairs you can do on your own knee. And we marvel at how logical it all sounds. Because for them it’s now the only possible truth. Their new reality.

In moments like that I think of the proverb — “Every frog praises its own swamp” — and at the same time I feel how hard life is for those of us who lean toward deep analysis. For those who see the alternatives even after they’re already gone. For those who can’t fully sever the past and forget the “second path” for good.

But maybe sometimes — just sometimes — a decision simply needs to be made. With no guarantees. With no ideal. And then you live with it.

Here’s to remembering that not every choice leads to some kind of victory. Sometimes it’s enough just to take a step forward! 😎