On Harmony with Your Shadow

They say more and more people are smoking — grown adults, often the ones who’ve already achieved quite a lot. But what about the age of awareness, of healthy living, clean eating, spiritual retreats, sport, biohacking… And then — suddenly, a cigarette in hand?

Carl Gustav Jung, a classic of psychoanalysis, believed we all carry a shadow self, or simply a shadow. This shadow holds the qualities we’re afraid of in ourselves, the ones we find unpleasant, or that are simply not socially acceptable.

Our modern, “progressive” society seems to have declared war on the shadow: we strive to be the “best version of ourselves,” free of dark thoughts and passions. We give up alcohol and cigarettes, we take on austerities, we go to temples, we buy self-development courses. And yet we don’t live in a monastery in the Himalayas — we live in a fast-moving social world full of anxiety.

Jung reminded us: an object that casts no shadow cannot shine in the light, either. Our vices and flaws are a fundamental part of our nature. Bad habits have existed since the dawn of civilization, which means they serve some purpose. Perhaps they’re nothing more than an unconscious way of making peace with that shadow? Because trying to force it out of your life often breeds an even greater inner conflict — far more painful than, say, a glass of wine in the evening.

There’s research showing that a harsh self-ban on something a person is deeply attached to often does more harm to their health than moderate consumption. Of course, this isn’t about anything-goes — it’s about conscious boundaries. Even sport, when it turns into an obsession chasing the next hit of dopamine, can do enormous damage — like when people “blow out their knees,” or even their hearts, running marathons without proper training.

When we’re told about the harm of smoking or drinking — no argument, the harm is obvious. But where’s the research on what happens to a person stripped of any release in a world full of stress? I’m not campaigning for bad habits, and I don’t smoke — not at all. I’m for everyone finding their own balance and living in agreement with themselves — without trying to be holier than the Pope. Sometimes happiness is in simple things: in accepting your own uniqueness, and in being able to love your real self.

Here’s to harmony with your own shadow, and to creating not just the “best” version of yourself, but a happy one! 😎