On Life Beyond Business

Not all of life is business.

When someone works twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, it often points to an imbalance. Clearly they haven’t reached their financial goals yet, and they’re in the desperate-chase phase of getting there. Plenty of people turn that grind into a cult — but what stays off-camera?

Not long ago I ran a little survey among the people I know: which books shaped you the most as a person? The answers surprised me — almost everyone named fiction. Not non-fiction, not self-help or business books, but the novels and stories that touch our deepest values and feelings. And that matters, because just as in life, we aren’t formed by the endless meetings, deals and reports. We’re formed by the moments when we turn to art, to family, to friends, to the things we love — or simply spend time alone with ourselves. Business is just a set of tools and skills. What actually makes us who we are sits at a more fundamental level.

More than once I’ve watched women leave successful but emotionally distant partners for someone who maybe earned less, but knew how to be there — to give attention, to take part in their life. This is especially true of women from well-off families, who grew up looking for value somewhere beyond purely material wins.

The irony is that many highly successful businessmen are some of the loneliest people around. Their social ties are often built on competition and personal gain, and friendship and love there are rarely unconditional. So what builds strong relationships between people? Passions and hobbies.

Think of the classic examples: fishing, hunting, sport, travel, chess, dancing. Even a dubious habit like drinking brings its share of acquaintances — though that’s a path I absolutely don’t recommend. But in these worlds people don’t befriend each other for gain. There are no deals as an end in themselves, only honest connection, people drawn together by what they love.

I’ve noticed that a lot of business people start deliberately walling business off from their personal time. They avoid talking shop over dinner, on holiday, with family. More and more often you hear the request: “Let’s not talk about work.” And in that I see a conscious reach for balance.

There’s another category too — people who are financially secure but aren’t chasing ever-bigger profits. Their horizons and inner life are often far wider than those of certain multimillionaires who sleep in the office. They live by their own internal compass. The absence of an external reference point — the ability to be at peace with yourself — isn’t just a rare trait, it’s a priceless one.

Maybe I should start a club for lovers of philosophy? A place where talk of business is off the table, where people gather not to prove anything to anyone, but simply to spend a pleasant evening musing on values and the joys of being.

Here’s to all of us reaching for many-sidedness, and not boxing our lives into the chase for money! 😎