Conscious Goal-Setting

Almost everywhere, we hear about how important it is to achieve our goals.

Recently I was struck by an interview with Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, where he turned over which practices society tends to underrate or overrate.

And what if the cult of goal-setting everywhere is, in fact, overrated?

Setting goals is a fine thing — but there are two “buts”…

First, what matters far more than the goal itself, as a finish line with a measurable result, is the direction it sets and the push it gives you to change the way you live. Take the goal of earning X amount of money — it isn’t just a sum, it’s the growth of your business instincts, your readiness to take on risk and responsibility. The goal of losing Y kilograms isn’t just a number on the scale — it’s getting drawn into sport and into eating with attention.

Second, rigid goals can do the opposite and box us in badly. If we lock ourselves onto a particular outcome and visualize exactly that, we may well reach it. But what if the universe was preparing something larger for us along that path, and we ourselves capped our own success inside the frame of an imagination that, at times, wasn’t bold enough? How can you predict, in advance, the endless run of unexpected but wonderful things that might happen?

Two examples:

1. When people agree to work together, they often say “1 + 1 = 3.” My version: “1 + 1 > 2.” Three is a hard ceiling; “more than two” opens the road to infinity.

2. Some people make “vision boards,” where they write down or even draw specific objects or numbers. I’ve heard they come true — but often not at all the way you imagined. There’s a joke: “If you wish, for the New Year, to read more, specify that you don’t mean from a prison cell up north.” Goals torn loose from the process of reaching them through inner change only create chaos.

On the other hand, as psychological research shows, setting super-ambitious targets from the start, before any inner confidence is there, actually demotivates us. Confidence is built along the way.

What might conscious goal-setting look like?

— Regularly refresh your goals and set new ones, as part of an ongoing life process.

— Accept that many goals won’t come true, possibly even most of them, and that’s fine. No regrets!

— Goals should serve us, not us them. Don’t become slaves to your own goals, the moment they turn into a source of constant worry and anxiety.

And what do you do when a goal is reached? Praise yourself and celebrate! Let a positive cause-and-effect link settle into your subconscious — it was working for you too, after all, and you’re grateful to it. Don’t be like those who, the second they hit a goal, say: “There, it means nothing now, time to move on.” That attitude makes our subconscious ask: “Why are you devaluing my effort? What reason do I have to keep helping you?” Celebrating a win is a wonderful thing!

Here’s to results that outrun your goals! 😎