Courage as a Skill

“If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done” — Coco Chanel.

Someone once told me: “You think your best quality is your mind, but really it’s your courage.” Afterwards I went back and looked hard at the key turning points in my life, and I realized it was true — it was precisely the resolve to step forward in the moments of greatest fear and doubt that led me not only to wins in business, but to inner harmony, to knowing who I am, to accepting the real me.

Is courage something we’re born with, or a skill we acquire? It seems that even if there’s a genetic predisposition, courage can be learned. But how?

I tried to recreate what happens in my body in the moment of fear: dry mouth, racing heart, a knot in the stomach, no appetite. Fear is a beautiful piece of evolutionary engineering — worth being grateful for!

In moments like these, the most important thing is to catch yourself in that state and accept it. To tell yourself: “Yes, I’m afraid — and that’s okay.” And then to ask yourself two questions: “What’s the worst that can happen if I do the thing I’m afraid of?” and “What will I lose if I don’t?” In most cases it turns out the risks can be minimized, nothing fatal will happen, and robbing yourself of your identity — or even your dream — is a bad idea. And once the decision is made, throw out every doubt and force yourself, with everything you’ve got, into the action — decisively, without delay. It’s critical not to torment yourself with second-guessing at that psychological tipping point!

The actions can be tiny — telling someone the thing we’re afraid to say — or vast, touching the lives of many people.

Repeat this algorithm again and again, and courage turns into a skill. The fear will keep coming back, and that’s good — but we can learn to manage it.

“To choose growth instead of fear a dozen times a day is to move a dozen times a day toward self-actualization” — Abraham Maslow.

Here’s to courage for us all! 😎