The Tax on a Happy Life

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve hated lines. To this day there are moments when a long line feels like a sign from the universe: I don’t actually need whatever everyone is queuing for, so I just turn around and walk away. Still, some situations are unpleasant but unavoidable — passport control at the airport, for one. However much it annoys you, you’ll stand through it anyway.

As they say: “If you can’t change the situation, change your attitude toward it.” Easier said than done, but why not give it a try?

In one of Mark Manson’s books I came across the idea of a “tax on a happy life.” The gist is this: small inconveniences and sacrifices are an inseparable part of the road to bigger joys and the goals that matter. Change your attitude toward these little hardships the right way, and the brain starts to read them as part of the process of getting something good out of the things we’re reaching for.

Some examples:

— Airport lines and jet lag — the tax on travel.

— Traffic jams getting in and out of the city — the tax on time with nature.

— Exams — the tax on an education and a promising career.

— Workouts and giving up tasty-but-harmful food — the tax on health, a good body, and a long life.

— Hard negotiations — the tax on strong, long-term relationships.

— Long hours of work — the tax on professional success and financial stability.

— Sleepless nights with a child — the tax on the joy of raising them and on a child’s love for their parents.

— A home renovation — the tax on a cozy, comfortable space to live in.

— Job interviews — the tax on finding the perfect job.

Sadly, some of these inconveniences and sacrifices for our goals are simply beyond our power to avoid — but maybe it’s their presence that makes the joy of arriving deeper and fuller. It seems that by paying this “tax” in small amounts, we keep contributing to the “gave — got” balance, sparing ourselves bigger trouble down the line.

Here’s to stoically bearing the little deprivations for the sake of our dreams! 😎