On the Fear of the Better Option

We’ve talked before about FOMO — the fear of missing out. But there’s another acronym, less famous yet just as common in its effect: FOBO, the fear of a better option. It’s the state where a person is afraid to make a final choice, worried that somewhere out there — or just around the corner — sits something better.

Here’s how it gets described:

“The relentless tallying of all possible options, in the fear of missing the ‘best’ one, leading to indecision, regret, and an ever-lower level of satisfaction.” — Tim Herrera.

“An anxiety-driven need to seek out something better, rooted in the sense that a more favorable option exists. The compulsive urge to keep your alternatives valuable by putting off the decision, or dragging it out indefinitely.” — Patrick McGinnis.

FOBO is, in a way, even more dangerous than FOMO, because it paralyzes the very ability to decide. And not only in your personal life, but in business too, where it spills over onto the people and the team around you. The fear of a better option pulls us into a zone of chronic uncertainty — no “yes,” no “no,” just an endless back-and-forth that drains energy, wears you down, and rarely leads anywhere.

How can you live happily with someone if you’re forever glancing over your shoulder at the alternatives? How can you be an effective employee if you keep wondering whether you’d be better off at a competitor? How can you run a business if you want to arrive at several mutually exclusive places at once?

Take something as trivial as picking a table in a restaurant: I’ve noticed that if the table I was first offered didn’t suit me and I started looking for another, then wherever I end up later, I’ll start clocking the pros and cons of every spot — and never feel fully content with my choice.

At times I catch myself asking: is it normal to spend an hour of my life on a marketplace comparing the ingredient list of squirrel food, or choosing garden tools from options that are 99% identical? Maybe it’s not about the product at all, but about trying to land the perfect choice where no such thing exists?

FOBO is especially at home in people with a sharp intellect and a vivid imagination — we’re able to paint in the upsides of any hypothetical choice, even when those upsides don’t exist in reality. And so the choice turns into an endless puzzle.

In business, failing to decide because you’re forever searching and analyzing alternatives can be fatal. In life, it leads to a lower level of satisfaction and to missed moments of the here and now. By putting off the choice, we rob not only ourselves of life, but everyone beside us too.

Here’s to all of us recognizing the edges of our own FOBO and learning to put a period on it — because life, after all, moves on. 😎