On What Moves the World

I started programming at five, reading the first children’s books on computer literacy ever published in the USSR — the ones with little sample programs in Basic. That episode was probably the key moment of my life: it shaped how my mind developed and who I became.

When you start thinking in algorithms at the deepest level of the brain’s neural net, the whole world — and at times the whole universe — turns into one enormous set of interlocking systems, programs, interactions. Like in The Matrix (though I’d actually recommend The Thirteenth Floor).

It feels as if everything obeys some logic. And if there’s logic, then events can be planned and predicted. For the world of lifeless science, that’s exactly true.

But you and I live in a world full of other people. Our success, and our sense of happiness, depend far more on how we deal with those around us.

Sadly, I often watch smart, talented people — especially the technically minded ones — struggle to find their place in life: they give everything, they try, and somehow it all seems to come to nothing. Why does this happen?

In many cases the cause is obvious: that same view of the world as a soulless algorithm, and the belief in a transactional approach to people — if I offer someone a so-called “win-win” deal, then logically he should agree. This rests on the assumption that people decide logically and always pick the best scenario for themselves. So when the offer is refused, or the other person quietly or openly slips away from cooperating, it can leave you stunned.

I’ve been there myself. As a kid I even had the nickname “dry crust” — and it probably captured my “outstanding” emotional intelligence back then rather well.

But over time, especially during 2006–2008, when I was on my MBA course, my perception began to shift sharply, and in the end I fully understood that our world is something far greater than a predictable, lifeless machine.

The world is people interacting with people, built on personal relationships.

Friendship, respect, faith, love, support, loyalty, devotion, fear — all these emotions may have nothing to do with logic or common sense, yet they are the very force that drives almost every decision on this planet.

And so, when I watch someone constantly argue, dramatize, accuse, try to prove something to somebody — especially in public — I ask myself: how much does this help build personal relationships? Whereas people held together by goodwill can offer help sincerely and with no strings attached, and at times such help can change the course of a person’s life, or an organization’s. While no “win-win” deal ever will.

The missing skill of building social ties can cancel out even the sharpest mind.

How do you size up your own situation? It’s worth asking yourself a few questions: how wide is our circle? Do we feel that most of these people sincerely have our back? Or, on the contrary, do we sense that every request calls for some kind of bargaining? The answers might hint at where we stand socially.

Here’s to building wonderful personal relationships with the people around you! 😎