On Worth

I once heard a parable about a father who gave his son an old, beat-up car as a graduation present. The son was beside himself — he was embarrassed to even show up in it in front of his friends. The father said calmly: “A shame. Then let’s try to sell it” — and suggested they first drive to a used-car lot, then to a pawnshop, and find out how much anyone would give for it.

In one place the car was valued at a few hundred dollars, in another at a few thousand, and in a third they simply called it “junk.” The son, frankly, thought the same thing himself, and was already ready to be rid of it for whatever he could get.

But the father insisted they also visit a club of vintage-car collectors. Imagine the son’s surprise when his car was surrounded by delighted members of the club. It turned out to be one of the rarest and most coveted models of its make — a cult car that sold at auction for enormous sums.

The father said: “Now you see how much it matters to end up in a place where people know your true worth. If you’re not valued — don’t be upset, and don’t be angry. It means only one thing: you’re in the wrong place. Keep looking.”

Sometimes people spend decades among those who underrate them, who don’t notice their abilities, their talent, their ideas, their different way of seeing things. Most often it happens without any ill intent — there’s simply no lens for it in these people’s picture of the world. Unconventional thoughts get treated as eccentricity, and the only advice on offer is the familiar one: “Go get a real job.”

It happens the other way around, too: the people around us deliberately talk down our self-worth to hold us in place, to keep us from growing faster than they do. They plant in us a fear of failure, a sense of our own insignificance — and that’s how they keep control. Some people agree to play that part.

There’s another side to the parable, though. That car really did have to be one of a kind. Because, unfortunately, almost every day I see people who consider themselves “misunderstood and underrated,” but it never goes beyond words. Maybe I’m blind somewhere myself and failing to notice someone’s hidden gifts — but worth has to be confirmed by real action, not just by a conviction of your own exceptionalism.

If you really are strong at something — go look for your place. Sometimes it takes years, and at times a whole life. But it’s exactly where we’re valued and understood that our true scale is revealed.

Here’s to all of us finding the people and the space where our abilities aren’t only noticed but realized to the full! 😎